"Fuck off Shaun I am taking a picture."
prude - a woman who won’t fuck you
dyke - a woman who won’t fuck you because you have a penis
slut - a woman who fucks other people and not you
tease - a woman who won’t fuck you even though she smiled at you
feminist - a woman who won’t fuck you because she has, like, thoughts and stuff
why do jellyfish only sting when theres physical contact
why doesnt the electricity just surge throughout the entire ocean
why dont jellyfish rule the world
Fun fact! Jellyfish don’t use electricity to sting you. Whenever they feel pressure against their tentacles, it causes its cells to rapidly send out these stingers into your skin that then release its venom. Like this:
my mom tried to teach our goats to pee in one certain spot by giving them treats when they’d pee in that spot
they think that now whenever they pee they get a treat
so whenever they see my mom
laughed for a solid five minutes
behaviorism gone wrong
Pavlov is laughing in his grave
There are years that ask questions and years that answer.
But I am afraid we must face the likelihood that he [Shakespeare] wrote bawdy, not because the audience insisted on it, nor his fellow actors, nor even the aristocratic followers of his work, but just because it amused him.
John Berryman (via howtotalktogirlsdialectically)
#…yeah this is new? #spoiler alert #shakespeare was dating a hot blond dude and the owner of a brothel #his bff got killed in a spy rendezvous/bar fight combination #he himself died by choking on fish after partying too hard #like #shakespeare liked dick jokes #(and probably also dick) #your attempts to attach modern standards of ‘classiness’ to him are wrong #(and also gross as hell bc he LITERALLY DIDN’T HAVE CLASS #HE WAS A GLOVEMAKER’S SON #IT WAS AWESOME) #shouts ‘stop trying to appropriate shakespeare for the rich academic elite’ into the void #i never writ; nor no man ever loved @swanjolras
Someone finally articulated what I couldn’t
#it both amuses me to no end and pisses me the hell off #that there’s still this ever pervasive fucking myth #that good art can only come from some kind of prestigious wealthy or academic background #no #and that’s why art is wonderful #it mocks those stereotypes #you can posture all you want #but talent doesn’t care #and you can’t fucking buy it
"I am afraid we must face the likelihood" oh I bet you’re afraid
be afraid of shakespeare’s infinite sex puns
Shakespeare wasn’t writing high-brow art. He was writing to pay the bills. How is this news to anyone? When did Shakespeare become sacred literary art anyways?
i feel like mary lambert just saved my entire day by putting out this music video
im violently crying like literally every time i hear this i cant not sob
Wowwwww I love this so much
Men! We must stock up on provisions here, for the road is long and treacherous ahead.
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